5 Things I Chose to Ignore When I Was a "Pro-Choice" Feminist

And the books that expose the lies

Photo by Katarzyna Grabowska on Unsplash

In the age of sound bites and slogans, too many people make decisions about important issues without knowing the full story. I spent most of my young adult life as a “pro-choice” feminist, ardent in my beliefs, yet miserable personally. When I came to Christ and embraced the Truth, I felt duped and sought to understand why I bought that ideology so thoroughly.

Here are five truths that I did not know then but know now and in sharing them, I hope to persuade you that the feminist, pro-abortion ideology is dangerous and based on lies.

1. Abortion Is Not About Women’s Health

The abortion “movement” was started by men and is a lucrative industry that receives millions from taxpayers through government funding. Dr. Nathanson’s book is hard to find, but it is worth every second. In it, he tells his story of becoming an abortion doctor and why he stopped. If you don’t have time, check out this article that summarizes his involvement in the abortion industry. He and other men advocated for legalization with lies, but as the science improved, he realized he was killing humans and became an advocate for life. It’s hard to argue with a doctor who was there.

The legalization of abortion was a full-fledged propaganda campaign. Sue Ellen Browder was a writer for Cosmopolitan Magazine around that time and her job was to convince women that the sexual revolution would empower and free them. You can check out this video to hear her story.

Finally, Abby Johnson gives readers an inside look at what happens in Planned Parenthood abortion facilities. In Unplanned, she tells her personal story as a clinic director. She’s appeared on many podcasts and her website will link you to shorter versions of her story. In “The Walls Are Talking” you learn more about the lies of the abortion industry from those who used to work there. It’s a short, but compelling read—aborted baby parts are called “Products of Conception,” young women are paid off and told not to talk when they experience complications, women in the midst of “choosing” being harassed and coerced into abortion. The drive for dollars. The list goes on. The industry is evil. Read it for yourself.

• Aborting America by Dr. Bernard N. Nathanson

• Subverted: How I Helped the Sexual Revolution Hijack the Women’s Movement by Sue Ellen Browder

• Unplanned by Abby Johnson & The Walls Are Talking by Abby Johnson

Other questions that are relevant to “women’s health” but not to pro-abortionists. What about abortion complications? What about the horrific trauma of medicalized abortion? Whatever happened to Jane Roe (you know, the woman at the center of the Roe v. Wade)? What about the mental health effects of abortion?

2. Selective Science

Pro-abortion advocates trust only convenient science. I first heard Katy Faust on a podcast. The thesis of her book and organization slapped me in the face. “Children are suffering at the whims of adult wants and desires.” That sentence summarizes everything about casual sex, abortion, feminism, and family. Social science provides plenty of evidence in support of whole, two-parent (mom and dad) families raising children as the single predictor of health and flourishing, yet the culture preaches the opposite. I saw it as a therapist, yet “pro-choice” advocates will have us believe the opposite.

Then there is the science of human development. Dr. Nathanson saw the humanity in a preborn child, so did Abby Johnson. Ironic how on one hand, NICU departments fight to keep 20-week-old babies alive, yet the abortionists are happy to kill them at the same age. Seems to be a matter of perspective.

• Unplanned by Abby Johnson

• The Choice: The Abortion Divide in America by Danielle D’Souza Gill

• Them Before Us: Why We Need a Global Children’s Rights Movement by Katy Faust & Stacy Manning

3. Promiscuity Empowers

Casual sex leads to emptiness and loneliness. My journey to this truth came from personal experience. To say I identified with Bridget Phetasy’s conclusions in her article is an understatement. I lived the feminist dream of unencumbered sex, and it only widens the chasm of that God-shaped hole in each of us. Like the well that can never be filled no matter how much water you put in. You want to be valued and respected? Then respect yourself first and quit giving it away.

Then I read Joe Malone’s book, and he puts sexual interactions in the context of human and evolutionary biology. Women operate sexually in one way, men in another. Understanding those differences can help people make wiser choices. You know—science. He explains that our sexually promiscuous culture has promoted pluralistic ignorance, a “phenomenon that describes people when they behave in ways that go against their own beliefs; when they think that the group’s beliefs that they want to belong to are different from their own.” (loc 2357 Kindle). Despite the evidence that hookup culture and casual sex lead to nowhere good, this is why people keep doing it. I recommend this book for young people, especially those headed to college. Just because everyone else is doing it doesn’t mean you have to. You’ll feel better about yourself and your relationships if you don’t.

In Adam and Eve After the Pill, Mary Eberstadt looks at the results of the sexual revolution and everything that came out of it. Look at the fruit. Higher rates of sexual predation, lower marriage rates, higher rates of depression, family disintegration—in other words, did feminism and sexual liberation result in happier, healthier women?

• I Regret Being a Slut by Bridget Phetasy

• Battle of the Sexes: Raising Sexual IQ to Lower Sexual Conflict and Empower Lasting Love by Joe Malone and Sarah Achelpohl Harris

• Adam and Eve After the Pill, Revisited by Mary Eberstadt

4. Shaky Foundational Ideology

The foundation of feminism, the ideology pushing abortion, is flawed and rooted in occultism.

Funny how my women’s studies classes in college only focused on idealizing the “founding mothers” and the “matriarchs” of feminism. When I learned the truth about Mary Wollstonecraft, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Betty Friedan, Kate Millett, and Gloria Steinem, I felt sick. These women were my heroes, but in reality, they were traumatized, mentally ill, bitter women who practiced the occult, sought attention and wanted to justify their own bad behavior and weird ideas by convincing everyone else it was the right thing to do. These realizations made me mad. I felt betrayed and lied to.

Carrie Gress, Mary Harrington, and Janice Fiamengo all provide evidence of the shaky foundations of feminism and present a poignant question: Has feminism resulted in happier, more fulfilled women?

Look around. According to the NIH, women are almost twice as depressed as men. Why might that be? There are a lot of articles out there that talk about the oppression of women via mental illness, yet none of them mention how feminist ideas contribute to that mental illness. I can testify that when I was a feminist, I was a depressed, anxious, lonely alcoholic. Now I am not. I have God and a fabulous relationship with good man of integrity. I am happier than I’ve ever been. God made men and women complementary. When we work together using our strengths, we are happier and healthier.

• The End of Woman: How Smashing the Patriarchy Has Destroyed Us by Carrie Gress

• The Fiamengo File on Substack by Janice Fiamengo

• Feminism Against Progress by Mary Harrington

5. Pro-Abortion NOT Pro-Choice

It’s not really about choice because choice does not extend to other choices and there will be no thoughtful discussion.

Feminists don’t really want to talk about choice. I experienced this as a feminist leader back in the day when President Clinton and others touted the “safe, legal, and rare” slogan. That made sense to me at the time, and I proposed ideas like promoting abstinence, birth control, and supporting women so they could have their babies. That would improve women’s health and prevent the need for so many abortions. That wasn’t allowed. No one wanted to talk about the choices women make before ever getting to the abortion choice. No one wanted to work on making abortion rare.

How many choices does a woman make before encountering the choice to kill her baby? The choice of interpersonal relationships—meaningful or frivolous. The choice to have sex—casual hookups or within the context of a stable relationship (like marriage). The choice of birth control method—there are plenty available.

Then there are choices for dealing with the natural consequences of your choices. Natural consequences of good relationship choices result in a partner who will stand with you and raise a child if one results from sexual activity. Frivolous relationships with hookups result in consequences where a woman is alone and will more than likely decide having a child is inconvenient.

More importantly, what about the women who choose to stay at home and raise their families? Why are their choices vilified? The truth is, back then, I abhorred women who chose to be stay-at-home moms. It was their choice; why did I find it so horrible? My devotion to feminism made me believe that the only worthy woman was one who pursued her career and increased the notches on her lipstick case. Once those lies were countered with truth, I began to see moms as heroes. Moms shape our next generation and as Peachy Keenan says, this makes women more powerful than any career could make them.

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth goes through that lie and many others in her book. I could write a personal essay on each of them. It’s worth reading, as are the other versions meant for young women and young men. Confront the lies for yourself and see where you land.

• Domestic Extremist: A Practical Guide to Winning the Culture War by Peachy Keenan (She also has a Substack.)

• Lies Women Believe and the Truth That Sets Them Free by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth (and now there are versions for young women and men)

My repentance of feminism is ongoing, and I am grateful that I serve a great God of mercy and grace. Don’t be duped. The abortion “issue” is far more complex than politicians, media, and activists would have you believe. Choices have consequences, and the choice to kill a pre-born child is murder. Murdering another human is a selfish, arrogant choice, and you will live the consequences, no matter how loud you shout your abortion. When you take that life away, you commit murder. Period. God is the arbiter of life. He gives it, he takes it away, and a child in the womb is made in the image and likeness of God.

Those who facilitate killing children are no better, which means I won’t promote abortion, and I don’t want my tax dollars footing the bill. Maybe states will engage in the democratic process and choose to keep abortion legal, fine, but deal with the natural consequences and pay for it yourself, don’t make me pay for murder.

My prayer for women today is that they make better choices. Pro-choice means paying attention to all the choices you make before choosing murder. Choose modesty, integrity, and chastity. Reject promiscuity as the defining characteristic of freedom and womanhood. Choose to embrace the strengths God gave you. Respect yourself and embrace your real superpower—carrying and raising up the next generation.

This book list is not exhaustive. Please comment and recommend more resources and books that counter the lies of feminism and the abortion industry.

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No stranger to spiritual warfare, Trudi Griffin writes stories of the eternal war between good and evil. Read her short story “Bondage” on Short Fiction Break. She was also a 2024 ACFW Genesis Semifinalist in speculative fiction. A native cheesehead from Wisconsin, Trudi is now an adopted Texan where she lives with her warrior husband. When she’s not sewing or reading, she’s probably gaming or enjoying a beautiful West Texas sunset.